Part 2 of...Learning how to say goodbye when your child leaves for college.

This year, my saying goodbye to our oldest son, Jack,  was very different from last year.  Last year, I was sad, but brave (not Chris...he was just plain old sad--all weekend, and on the way home, in a sad, needy, not brave for your child way...he just missed his oldest son).    This is the post here about my feelings on the morning we left for Notre Dame.

Last year, in mid-August, my family, all seven of us, rented a large van, and drove two vehicles in a caravan to drop our oldest son, Jack,  off in South Bend, Indiana, and spent an amazing 4 days at the University of Notre Dame.   It was so great.

 We arrived on Thursday night, parked without a problem, and then walked around, taking our own  informal tour of the campus, which was really, surprisingly quiet.  There was no one on campus.  It was hot, and this place looked very manageable to me.  It was big, but no hills, and easy to walk.  It was very peaceful.

That all changed the next morning, when the freshman reported to their dorms, and it became very busy.    I became the mom that I remembered seeing other people have on the first day of college (no helpful parents for me...).   I was putting on sheets,  putting clothes in drawers, and meeting the other three sets of parents of his quad-mates (he had three roommates).  I was busy, and I was really liking this Notre Dame place.  It was wonderful.  I went to a parent thing in his dorm, and met the RA's (the call them Rectors, I think), and they were very reassuring.  Not that I was worried about Jack, but they said something which was very reassuring--they said words to the effect of "we are here to do all the things that you do for your child...if there is something wrong, we take care of it."    What more could a parent ask?

I met Governor Chris Christie on the second day, and that was also good--if this place was good enough for Governor Christie (who I like), it was okay with me.

At the end of the third day at Notre Dame, on Saturday night, we said goodbye to Jack, and left him,  660 miles from our home, at a campus I had visited for all of 96 hours.   Before we went back to our hotel, I told him that we were getting up early on Sunday, and, that unless he needed to see us, we would leaving for our 12 hour trip back to Jenkintown at 9 am.   Of course, he didn't call, although he does admit that he had missed us on his first night in the dorm....when we were still in town.

This year, we thought we were making the trip to Notre Dame this weekend, but a few days ago, Jack kind of told us that he was going out with his roommate (who is from this area), and that we could drive his stuff out if we wanted.   Well, no thank you.  I can mail his stuff out for less than $100....assuming he couldn't put everything in his roommate's car.  I am willing to drive him, but I don't need to drive out his stuff.

So, that will make this year's good bye much easier...it was a quick goodbye in our driveway, not a 4 day event.    But I also felt differently.  I know he will probably be back for Fall Break in about 2 months, and then I will see him 2 months after that..a few days before Christmas, because I doubt he will be back for Thanksgiving.    Last year, I missed him so much before he came home for Christmas.  I really needed to see him.  He isn't a good phone talker, and he was very busy with Engineering, rowing for Notre Dame's team, and doing freshman stuff.

But Jack has a way of making it easy not to miss him.   I guess all teenagers do.  My friend Ellen once told me that by the time her oldest left for college, she was barely seeing him anyway, so his going away wasn't so bad.  Jack is the same.

So, this year's saying goodbye to my college student was much different, and much less difficult for all of us, I think, largely because we all know that we have adapted to some extent, to Jack not being here.    But I have to admit that I already know that next year will be brutal bringing Anna to college.   I can't imagine saying goodbye to Anna.   That will kill me, and if I seem brave or happy, it is because my first desire was to be an actress because I am very good at acting, but I can't sing, and my high school only put on musicals!!