Happy Halloween 2014!!

This year, Halloween trick or treating is a little bit sad...Jack is at Notre Dame, Anna is going right after school to a friend's house to go out to a party with some Mount friends, Timmy is going out for a little bit with some friends, and then to a football game (seriously...why on Halloween?), and Matthew is starting here, but then going out with a group of 5 friends to another neighborhood.  Only Lily is going out here..the first time only with one.

But first, we have Lily's Halloween parade at her school.   And I am a room parent, which means I have been preparing for this party for a few days.   Honestly, be nice to your room moms.   They work hard.

Lily went as a Notre Dame cheerleader.   She dance/cheered all the way through the parade.  She does this every year, and it cracks everyone up.

Afterwards, we played some games back in her room.  I think the kids enjoyed it.

I drove Anna to go to a party with a group of girls from her school, and then I dropped off Timmy with his friend to go trick or treating, and then to the Abington football game.  I miss that he isn't going trick or treating this year.


We got invited to a little block party down the street that starts at 5, but Chris didn't get home until later, so this is them walking down.

Next, I dropped off Matthew at his friend, Joey's, and he went out with a group of friends.    Overall, I think I have to realize that as long as they are having fun, it doesn't matter where it is, or how much candy they get (I am the only one who cares about the candy!!)

Gorgeous October Day at Head of the Schuylkill

Our oldest daughter, Anna, rows Crew for Mount Saint Joseph's Academy, or the Mount.  Today, was the day she raced at the Head of the Schuylkill.   When I dropped Anna off this morning, the sight of all those boats on the river with the trees different colors, was gorgeous, so I said I thought we should all go down and watch her race.     To be honest, we haven't all gone to many of her races on the Schuylkill since she was a freshman, for lots of reasons, one of which is that there are no toilets along the Schuylkill, and there are no toilets, and there are no toilets...you get it?  Also, I'm not a big fan of head races, which means that the boats just keep coming...they Well, now that most of mine are able to control themselves a little, we decided we could all go.

I couldn't get a spot near the Art Museum, but I found this gorgeous little neighborhood near 28th and Brown that you could park for free.  You cross over a tiny bridge, and you are right at the boat houses...it saves at least 30 minutes.

You then cross through this little wooded area, and come out to this path....apparently the neighborhood uses this path a lot.

Anna was scheduled to race at 2, and we arrived around 1:45.    Instead of hanging out where we usually hang out by the grandstands, which is really in the middle of the race, this time we parked near the boathouses, near the Art Museum, and walked down to the finish line.   Chris and Lily decided to go biking afterwards, and Lily got used to the traffic on Kelly Drive right away:

As we were walking up, we ran into some people from La Salle College High School, where my son just graduated from in May.  I just took this picture to show to Jack:

It became apparent that they were really behind schedule, so we had/got to wait for an hour watching all these rowers.   We didn't mind waiting...look at how gorgeous the area was:

  Honestly, other than Jack not being here, it was just great...beautiful weather, getting exercise on the river with our children (Anna is waiting to race on one of the boats).

Chris and Lily found a spot by the river right away:

Chris, Timmy, Matthew, and Lily:

Here are some of the rowers--this looks pretty cool with literally hundreds of boats going constantly:  

Finally, the main attraction---this is Anna's boat going down--she is the 5 Seat, which means she is the 5th girl from the coxswain, or 4th from the left:

This is them crossing the finish line:

Anna's boat did really well (the Mount always does well), and they passed several boats on the way down, so they were happy!!   I'm so glad we went...we were thinking of staying home and raking leaves!

This is why you shouldn't give the big kid trick or treaters a hard time on Halloween...just give them candy

I saw this article today somewhere on AOL, I think, and I am re-printing it here in its entirety, because this lady, Marion Franck, does such a great job at explaining why I am happy anytime trick or treaters show up at my door, and why I worry each year that this year may be the last one of my children will decide not to go out for Halloween.

I first started worrying about this when Jack  had just turned 12, and in 6th grade.   By that time, he was 6 foot tall, but he was still only in elementary school.  You would be amazed at how many people gave him a hard time about trick or treating (because he was taller than most seniors in high school), or at least looked at him funny.    I think he went out a few more years...and now he goes to a friend's house, and they hang out.    

But now I worry about my others.  I know I have a few more good years with Lily, obviously, but with the other three...I worry that they might think they are too cool, or to old,  to go out on Halloween.    I still remember the excitement, the nonstop talking about what they were going to be, the planning for months, literally months,  about what/where/when....it was such a big day for us. And I worry that now they will put that chapter behind them.  I know they will,  eventually, but I just don't want it to be this year.  

So when a tall group of teenagers comes to your house, greet them warmly, and hand them lots of candy...it may be the last time these kids ever go out for Halloween.  Make it a memorable one for them.

Marion Franck Become a fan 

Writer, hospice volunteer and whitewater kayaker

What You Need to Know About 6-Foot Trick-or-Treaters

Posted: 10/23/2014 9:38 am EDT Updated: 10/23/2014 1:59 pm EDT

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I thought it was all about big boys, who should have known better, shaking me down for candy. They'd arrive in clumps, shout "trick or treat," and shove undecorated brown paper bags in my direction. It didn't feel right.

Then again, some things don't make sense until you've lived them with your own child -- and not a moment sooner.

The tale I tell today is from the year 2000, Halloween day. My 15-year-old son, a sophomore at Davis High School, comes home and says, "Mom, I have an idea."

Then he pauses. "No, forget it."

"Aw, come on, tell me." My hands assume a begging position, like a squirrel hoping for a nut.

"Maybe I'll invite some friends over this evening," he says.

Like every mom of a young male, I've worried about his social skills, so this sounds good to me. I tell him "yes" but I also ask him to carve pumpkins with me before his friends show up. Never before have we carved pumpkins without his sister, who has just gone off to college. This is the third-to-last time I'll get to do it with him.

I spread newspaper on the table and choose the smaller pumpkin for myself.

"Hey, I've got a thin-skinned one this year, easy for carving," he announces, hefting the larger pumpkin lightly from hand to hand.

"Maybe you just got stronger," I say.

After we finish the job and set up our two pumpkins by the window, he's on the phone, then off the phone, then on again until he walks in and announces that he needs candy for his friends.

"How many friends?"

"I don't know. Three. Or two. Or five."

I make a quick run to the market. These boys are too big now to go house to house trick-or-treating, so I want to buy a hefty consolation prize. I choose big Milky Way bars, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (large size) and a bag of M&M's.

--------

At 7:15, guys start showing up. One is half in costume, the rest in school clothes. Like 15-year-olds everywhere, they come in a range of sizes. One boy is 6'2" and speaks in a deep bass. Another is only 5'4" but loud. The house reverberates with sound.

Even though my son knows I bought candy, I hear him say, "Wanna go out for a while and trick or treat?"

I immediately remember other Halloweens when I was acutely annoyed by large packs of teens, most without costumes, who showed up late at my door and growled in bass voices, "Trick or treat." They hadn't done their part -- dressing up -- but I still had to do mine.

I want to protest to my son, but things are moving too fast for me to get a word in. The boys are running in and out of my son's room grabbing possible outfits (an old cape, a flowered shirt, a skeleton mask) and my husband is poking around in the garage looking for the sickle he made a couple of years ago when my son dressed up as "Death."

One boy emerges in a too-small fishing hat and asks for a rod. In my daughter's room, I find a witch's hat, complete with glued-on grey hair. The big guy claims it.

In five minutes flat, everyone is partially in costume and heading down the sidewalk. I hear their deep voices as they laugh. I cross my fingers that the neighbors will understand.

--------

That night I was reminded that parents are not the only ones who regret the passing years. A year earlier, for the first time, my son gave out candy instead of trick-or-treating. It was an OK experience, but not worth repeating. It's much more fun to go trick-or-treating with a bunch of guys and if the neighbors are grumpy, it's easier to laugh things off when you're in a crowd.

So here's what I can pass on, if you don't have your own 15-year-old boy.

When a crowd of under-costumed teens shows up on your doorstep, welcome them. It's a big group because they find strength in numbers. They're not wearing costumes because they didn't realize that they'd want to go -- nor how badly.

Give them big bars. Don't tell them they're too old. They already know that.

Let them pretend it just isn't so.

Marion Franck is a writer living in Davis, California. This piece first appeared in The Davis Enterprise.

Just Because He Breathes

When I started this blog, I read lots of other blogs about how to write a blog.  One thing they all said was write about what you want to write about, but don't be controversial (unless that is what you want to do).  I started this blog so my son, Jack,  could keep track of what we were doing back home while he was away at a college 12 hours from our home (and to meet Matt Lauer and/or Rosie O'Donnell), so I haven't written about other than that...just the daily things of our lives.   Birthdays, Target clearance, etc.

But last night, I came across a blog, called Just Because He Breathes, that I just feel compelled to say something about.  I couldn't possibly do justice to what Linda, the author writes about, but it is written by a mom who lost her 20 year old son, Ryan,  in July, 2009, after struggling for almost 8 years with various issues--his sexual identity, acceptance, God, etc.   After struggling with drug and alcohol while dealing with these issues, Ryan, after 10 months clean, died of an accidental overdose at age 20.   He was a kind, loving son, and a seemingly very good person.  It is an unimaginable tragedy.    

What makes this child's death so much difficult for his parents, Rob and Linda, is that, in essence, they blame themselves.   They feel that they let their son down for several years before they learned to accept that he was gay.  I am really not even beginning to do this amazing blog justice...it is just something that you have to read yourself.   Linda, his mother, wishes, agonizes, prays,,,, that she could do things differently--and just let Ryan know that she loves him, as she says, not with conditions, but "just because he breathes."    Her last post has received over 1500 comments...it has obviously touched a chord with thousands of people.    I really encourage you, regardless of what religion/sex/race/background you are from, to consider, without condemnation, what this poor, heartbroken mother is trying to say.  

And then, think about what she wishes she could so desperately do--just love your child because he, or she, breathes.  And just be thankful, that unlike Linda, your child is simply breathing at this moment.   I will never take another breath of any of my children for granted.

Getting Ready for the Halloween Clearance at Target. Part 1...Steps to take now

So, now is the time for you to start preparing for the Halloween clearance at Target.   I keep on writing about the Target clearance sale, but not telling you much about it.  There are a lot of fabulous sites out there that give you all you could possibly want to know about Target sales, 365 days a year (for example, AllthingsTarget, TotallyTarget--these are very, very thorough).   In case you are new to this (as I was a few years ago), this can seem very confusing, and the ladies on those sites use all sorts of special codes, so this will just try to be as basic as possible.

How great does this look?

I love Target, but I TRY to keep the Target craziness to just the after holiday sales,  When I say holiday, I don't mean just Christmas--after the major holidays (Valentine's Day, Easter, Halloween, and Christmas), Target will discount their holiday-themed items starting at 50%, then 70%, and then, after 6-10 days, up to 90% off the original price.   They also discount summer items in mid-July, and Back to School items.   But this will be mostly about the holiday-themed clearance sales, because those are the ones I usually get the most at.

First, try to remember that nothing is a good deal if you don't need it, it can't be donated,  or you don't know someone who can use it.   Saying that, I think that many items can be donated, or given to friends who will use an item you might not use.  I will buy many baby clothing items for .50-1.00 each--I figure that the babies/mom in the home for single moms I donate to won't care if the clothing  they are wearing has a holiday theme to it if it new and still has a tag on it--and for all I know, they hold onto those items to give to the babies near that holiday.   I try (not great at it), to not feed my family processed/packaged items, but sometimes when something has been reduced to .10 a box, I will consider buying something to donate (my friend Missy will not do that, because she is against junk food, but I think it is wasteful to have Target throw out un-purchased items of food....it kind of depends on what it is).

 If you can get something super cheap, or free, please consider whether it is something that can be donated.   I buy a lot at these sales, and I donate A LOT of it (cups/napkins/tissues--all go to church donation bins, to my daughter's old preschool, etc).  Last year I bought 30 double boxes of Kleenex for less than .03 each after coupons.   I gave away at least half of them to church/friends.  Honestly, I somewhat selfishly wish I had kept more--a family of 7 goes through a lot of Kleenex!    I also will buy super cheap food items to give to  food drives or friends (one year I got about 40 boxes of Kraft Halloween pumpkin-shaped Macaroni & Cheese for .13 each,  and I donated about 35 of them to a variety of Thanksgiving families/food pantries/food drives).

At this point, still early in October, you should be going to Target just for recognizance missions.  In other words, see what is there.  People always ask me how I get such good deals.  Largely, it is because I know what is part of any particular holiday sale, so that when it goes on sale, I pick it up.

This is my favorite Target in Cedarbrook--the selection is always amazing, and the people who work there are really nice!

   

 I was surprised by how few costumes there seem to be at Target this year--in past years, there were 4 aisles of costumes, and even when it went to 90% off, you would have 2 full aisles.  I think they must have caught on, because there was only this aisle, and one for the kids.

Target typically puts stickers on all its clearance items, but it does not do that for holiday clearance sales.   So, if you see something that is part of the Halloween section now (look for packaging, Halloween-themed prints), you can assume it will be part of the whole holiday clearance.

It is almost too much to write about...you kind of have to learn by trial and error, but some things you might want to do at this point.    The day after the holiday (so, for Halloween, on November 1st),  the non-food items will be 50% off (this is what they have done before.  Target may change its policy, but this is what has always been done for years, so I will assume that this will be the case).     This includes all the Halloween-themed napkins, paper towels, ziploc bags, etc.   This is the day to buy any of these items, because these usually do not last until 70% off,   and it is a miracle if you can find it at 90%.   Let's make it clear--I don't understand the people who buy 50 rolls of paper towels at 1.50 each, but I will buy 10 rolls, and put one in each bathroom under the sink to use for cleaning (not for people use unless it is in season), a few to use in the garage,  and then 3-5 under my kitchen sink to replenish when I run out.   To make it a better deal, however, you might want to start getting/gathering coupons to use with these items.   For example, I always try to make sure that I have some Bounty coupons to use with my 50% off Bounty napkins/paper towels.    One year, I had coupons for $1 off 2 rolls, so for each roll I bought for 1.50, I only paid 1.00 each after coupons.   This is great, because usually these sell for 2.99 full price.

Lastly, start looking for items that you can use NOT for Halloween--like the pumpkins through Halloween, the purple lights I donated to my daughter's school (colors are purple and gold), etc.   Lots of these items can be used year round--these are the best things to get...not the bags and bags of candy corn!

My Evening with Judy Smith...the real life Olivia Pope from Scandal

So, in my former life, I was a lawyer.   People always say I still am, but honestly, it has been over 12 years since I practiced at all, and almost 19 years since I worked full-time as a lawyer.

My old firm, Cozen O'Connor, invited me to an Evening with Judy Smith, the crisis management consultant who is the real-life inspiration for ABC's Scandal.  It was at the Kimmel Center on October 1st.  I almost never go anywhere without it being a child's sporting event, so I moved heaven and earth to make it there--it began with a cocktail party at 5:30, but I missed that, but I got there within 30 seconds of when she began to talk.   To be honest, I didn't watch Scandal before I got the invitation to attend in July, but I kind of caught up with most of the episodes from last season via late summer re-runs.

I love Center City, Philadelphia.  I lived at 16th and Locust for about 6 years.  This is the view I saw every day--looking north up 16th Street, with Liberty Place in the center (the glass-looking buildings).

My old apartment, the Versailles, at 16th and Locust.   Amazing apartments!

I had never been to an event at the Kimmel before, so I was excited to go--everything is just stunning there.

This is the view from the atrium looking upwards--the glass ceiling, with an apartment building in the background.  It is just a gorgeous building.

This is how Judy Smith started the lecture--she was very easy-going....I can see why she is where she is, and why she does what she does. 

   She started out at the podium by giving her background,  how she came to do what she does--which the basic message was--take advantage of life's events.   Soon, however, she got down from the podium, and started walking among the guests, including myself, who were hanging out in the back.  She had just a very easy way about her.

       It was a great night!  I stayed after her talk for another cocktail party, chatted with some lovely Cozen lawyers (some of them no longer with the firm), and was still home by 9 pm.   Definitely a really fun night for me.

Notre Dame football wins again, My pumpkin harvest, a gorgeous Fall Sunday!

I think I said from the beginning that I'm not much of a football fan, but things have changed since my son left in August to begin his first year/freshman year there.   Suddenly, I care about how the Notre Dame football team is doing (which is also easy because they are now 6-0).

Caring about Notre Dame football now is kind of a necessity, though.  I don't care about the Eagles, the Philadelphia team, at all, but it doesn't seem to bother anyone if I don't know or care about the Eagles. Not caring about Notre Dame football, when you have a child who goes there,  seems to suggest that there is something mentally deficient with you.  Apparently there are lots of Notre Dame football fans out there, because having a son who goes there seems to make people think that you know a lot about the football team, and that you really care about the team.   So, I have been either watching the game live, or, like I did last night, taping/recording the game before we leave, and then watching it when we get home.     And, while I haven't learned the names of most of the players (okay, I think I know 3), I am starting to think some look familiar, and one guy I think I remember seeing on campus.

My greatest fascination with watching the game last night, though, is that while they are in the same time zone as we are, the sun sets at least 45 minutes after it sets here in Philadelphia.  I noticed that in August--it was still pretty light on campus at 9 in late August, but in Philadelphia, it had been getting dark around 8.   They had some aerial shots of the stadium at 7:15, and it was still fairly light there, but it gets dark here around 6:30.   So, I guess that shows you why I only know the names of 3 players.    

On Friday, I brought in my pumpkin harvest.  Here it is:

Now, lest you think this is pathetic, let me remind you that we didn't plant the seeds until July 14th, we got an attack of Powdery Mildew (PM--google it), and this was our first year.  I am thrilled.  Things I have learned:

1. Plant earlier.
2. Spray with a fungicide to avoid PM.
3. Consider planting a bee-bringing plant near to attract bees (although I really don't want the bees           there if I am there) , because they are really crucial to pumpkin growing. I had several egg-sized         pumpkins that I had to give up on because the"growing season" is over here in mid-September.

Overall, I am thrilled.   I don't know what I will do with them, but I may just leave them in a basket.



Today is a gorgeous fall Sunday.  Yesterday was lousy--cold rain, overcast...one of those days you just can't get warm.  Today is the opposite.      Years ago, I gave up decorating with real pumpkins.  I always bought 6-8 of them, and by Halloween, they had been eaten by squirrels. Instead,  I bought a ton of these fake pumpkins at Target's 90% off Halloween clearance sale.   These pumpkins were between .90 and 1.49 each for the largest ones, and they don't rot, and the squirrels can't eat them.  While nothing beats the look of fresh pumpkins, luckily these are hard to tell are fake, and nothing is worse than the sight of a squirrel-eaten decaying pumpkin.

   Not the greatest picture with all the shadows....I just mound the pumpkins up at the bottom of the maple tree.   Also, you might not be able to see the pile of fake pumpkins on that green chair on the right--I trash picked the chair, and put some pumpkins on it, and people always tell me how festive it looks!   The pumpkins were purchased for a total of $2.70 5 years ago, and the chair was free--not a bad look for the fall.

Celebrating Timmy's Birthday at Shake Shack in Philadelphia

So, we really got to celebrate Timmy's birthday this year, on his birthday.    We usually end up having to wait a few days if it is during the week, but this year, it fell on a Saturday, we ended up not going out to Notre Dame like we were supposed to, and so we were free to go out.

We decided to go to one of our favorite places in Philadelphia--Shake Shack at 20th and Sansom.
I like to take them downtown every few months, so that they get to know Philadelphia a little.  I lived in Center City for almost 10 years before I got married.   I love Philadelphia, and I want my children to love Philadelphia.  

After golfing with his brother and some friends, we left around 4.    It still takes us 30 minutes from the time we are going to leave to actually get us all into the car...here is a small reason why:

     Matthew is photo bombing the picture I was trying to take of Timmy on his 15th birthday.

Chris lived downtown while he was finishing his residency, so he knows how to park--you just have to be patient, drive around, and eventually you will get a  spot.   He dropped us off as we got closer, and as we were walking up, he almost beat us to the restaurant because he got such a great spot.  

If you've ever been to Shake Shack, you know what it is---hamburgers, hotdogs, fries, and of course, shakes.   There is no salads, no soup, nothing even remotely healthy,   but it doesn't seem to scare people off--the place is mobbed, and no one seems to be counting calories!  

Here are Timmy, Matthew, and Lily: 

Anna, Timmy, and Matthew: 

Anna and Timmy:

And then the food came!!   

What they most wanted, we saved for dessert:   

Lily was loving her vanilla milkshake!!  

She finally took a breath!

Afterwards, we started to walk around Rittenhouse Square, but it was a little bit cool for how we were dressed, and we were trying to get back to watch Captain America, the Winter Soldier (really great!), so we just went along the one side, past the Dorchester, which had this gorgeous display I had to take a picture of--I would love Autumn if it weren't followed by Winter!!  

We only had about a 3 minute walk to where Chris had parked near 20th and Spruce, which is near where I lived before we got married--Chris and I consider that area our old neighborhood.  

I can remember walking down this street to go visit Chris after work, or on weekends...and 20-something years later, we are walking with four of our five children.   

Anna, Matthew, Timmy, Chris and Lily