Today is my Aunt Phyllis' birthday. Aunt Phyllis would have been 86, I think. Maybe 87. She was my mother's sister. After my mother died, Aunt Phyllis really made a point to stay in touch with us 6 Lucker children. It wasn't easy. But at least once a month, all 6 of us would go over to her house in Hatboro on Upland Avenue, across from what was then Hatboro/Horsham High School.
When I think now that she had 3 of her own kids still at home (and two grown, with children, so that her grandchildren came to visit also), and that she would have all 6 of us for long weekends, it blows me away.
We loved going to my Aunt Phyllis' house. We would arrive on Friday night, and we would watch tv late...a huge treat for us. On Saturdays, we would go to football games at Hatboro/Horsham High after the first half on days where there was a football game (that is how I learned that you get in for free after half-time), or, if there was no games, we would walk to the Horsham Mall, which is on Blair Mill Road, and get candy to eat for the movies we would watch on Saturday night.
On Sunday, we would go to the Bazaar, which was this huge Mart-type place on Easton Road, and get candy for us to eat at home...we didn't have access to candy where we lived, so we would stock up. And then, on Sundays, Aunt Phyllis would have everybody over--all the aunts and uncles and cousins, and she would make big pots of sausage, and meatballs. That is how I kept contact with my cousins. My father wasn't making any effort to keep in touch with my mother's side of the family, and without Aunt Phyllis, and going to her house, I am sure that we would have never seen those relatives.
I always kept in touch with my Aunt Phyllis, even after those trips to her house ended...probably when I was in 8 grade or so. I think we just stopped going, but I still kept in touch. I sent her cards for her birthday, and for Christmas while I was away at college. I didn't drive until I was 31, so I couldn't just go visit her, but I spoke to her on the phone occasionally.
Things changed after I had my daughter, Anna. I was still working part-time, and I needed someone to watch her, while I worked part-time at a local law firm. Jack, who was 22 months, was in a little cute child care center, but I wanted her at home. I started to look around, but when Aunt Phyllis came to Anna's baptism, I realized that I needed someone just like Aunt Phyllis...an older woman, who I could trust, who could watch Anna on an as-needed basis, and who was good with babies. That was my Aunt Phyllis. I asked her that day if she would babysit Anna, she agreed to babysit if I needed her, and thus was born one of my children's' most special relationships.
From then on, Aunt Phyllis came down at least twice a week to watch Anna. She usually arrived at 8, and left by 1, but I really think that she looked forward to spending this time with Anna. She was amazed by how good Anna was, and would always tell me that she had completed three crossword puzzles while I was gone, because Anna had slept from the moment I walked out the door, and woke up the moment I walked in (kind of annoying, for a new mom, trying to get a moment just to put away the dishes, etc.)
Aunt Phyllis loved Anna, and she loved her children, and she loved to do crossword puzzles. She woke up at 4, and started to drink coffee, and read her newspaper. She was a woman of routines.
Aunt Phyllis was always cold. She was 5'3", and weighed 108, and had no meat on her, so she was always cold. I remember one time she came to Anna's ballet recital, which was always held in early June. It was 95 degrees, and sunny. We were all dying from the heat, wearing white cottons. There she was, standing outside in a full-length black wool cape. She was fine. People were staring at her. It was ridiculous. I said "Aunt Phyllis, can you please take off the black wool cape? You are going to die of heat stroke." She said, as always, "I am cold." That was Aunt Phyllis.
Aunt Phyllis passed away on December 24, 2006. She was one of the first people I called to tell on November 9th of that year that I had just had Lily...a sister for Anna. She was so happy. Happy for Anna more than happy about a new baby. She was not well near the end, but I spoke to her a week before she passed to invite her to Christmas dinner. She said she couldn't make it, even if I came to pick her up, so I knew she was not well. Instead of talking about herself, she asked me and I told her all about Anna, who she loved fiercely, and Lily.
I was somewhat comforted that she passed on Christmas Eve. That would have made her happy. Her obituary mentioned her family, then described her as a second grandmother to the Lucker kids...she really was a second grandmother to the Lucker kids' kids. My niece Reily and Joseph called her "grandmom." There was a memorial service for her a few weeks after she passed, in late January, and my daughter, Anna, got up, and extemporaneously spoke about how much she learned from Aunt Phyllis, and how she would miss Aunt Phyllis. I remember that Anna said that when she had babies, she would always make sure to pull the socks up over the pants of the baby, so that the baby's feet and legs didn't get cold. My Aunt Phyllis would have been so happy.
I miss her a lot. I think of her, and quote her, a lot. Sometime I laugh, and I think, "that is how Aunt Phyllis laughed." So, Happy Birthday, Aunt Phyllis!!
