A slice of Pie and a cup of coffee--Rest in Peace, Joseph Roche--10/18/50-11/26/15

A really great man passed away this morning.  He wasn't great by anyone's standards, other than mine, and to all those who loved him, which included me, and so I thought he was great.   His name was Joe Roche, and he was married to my sister, Lisa, which made him my brother-in-law.  

I first met Joe in the early 1990's, when he started dating Lisa.  I was working a lot as an attorney, and I was dating my husband, so I didn't really pay much attention to Joe.  But that was the way Joe was.  He was just kind, thoughtful, and an all-around good guy.   For some reason, he was just happy to be with Lisa, and he loved her.   A lot.   And then they got married, and he became my brother-in-law. 

Joe came to every event at my house for the last 23 years.  He came to baptisms, Christmas dinners, and yes, Thanksgiving dinners.  He was always a pleasure, and never a problem.  He went back for seconds, which was what a good hostess wants, and he complimented the food.   Even the year I ordered the whole Thanksgiving dinner from Whole Foods, because I had just had Lily.    He was always happy to have a piece of apple pie at the end of the meal, and a cup of coffee.  Just apple pie and coffee.   He was just happy with a slice of pie, and a cup of coffee.  Nothing fancy. 

Joe was a devoted father.   He had Kyle and Laura from his first marriage,  but his wife died after a long illness.   Then he married Lisa, and had Joseph and Reily with Lisa.  He never left his children without saying "I love you."   I can remember him dropping off Joseph for something at my house a year ago, and he said "I love you" to Joseph before he left.  It was only going to be overnight or something.  I say that often to my kids, but I was surprised that Joe would say it to Joseph with such meaning for what was only going to be a day or so away....and I think Joseph was 18 years old at the time.  

Joe got ill a few years ago with cancer, and he seemed to have fought it successfully.  For 6 months or so, he seemed to be doing better.  In September, he complained that his back hurt.  Oh no, I thought, not the back,.  I thought, that back pain meant that perhaps that meant the cancer had come back, and he had tumors on his spine.   I was correct.  He did.  

A few weeks ago, I was driving home from a late meeting, when my nephew called to tell me his father only had weeks, or months to live.  A few days later, I walked by this tree, and I thought, "that tree is like Joe.   It had a long season, is full of life, and is now fading away."   A few times, Lily and I would go for a walk, and we called it our Uncle Joe tree.  I noticed it a week ago, and it was more than half-way gone with its leaves.   

Yesterday, I walked by, and I stopped, because I noticed that there were virtually no leaves on the tree.   And that's when I knew.   Joe's time was almost over.  

On November 6, 2015, this tree reminded me of Joe's life: 

                   On the morning of November 25th, less than 24 hours before he passed, this is how that   tree looked...and I knew the end was near for Joe.

So I was not surprised when Laura called me late Wednesday night to tell me that Joe was not doing well, and this was probably the end.  I couldn't go down, because Chris was out picking up kids, and I was alone with Lily.  But we all went down last Saturday, and many times over the last few weeks, and every time I left, I made sure Joe knew exactly the way we all felt about him, and that, to me, at least, he was a great man.

Tonight at dinner, we said a prayer for Uncle Joe.  And when I brought the apple pie out, I thanked God for letting Joe Roche into my life.  But this year, I didn't need to make coffee for anyone.  Rest in peace, Joe Roche.  I will miss you very much.

Apparently no one is a whole person until they've danced on Dancing with the Stars....November 25, 2015

So, last night was the finale of Dancing With the Stars.  Apparently Bindi Irwin won, which kind of annoys me, because I think she is only famous because her father died.     I know, I am being really unkind, but seriously...do you think we would know her if her father, Steve, hadn't died?  No, we would know her father, not her.  But he died, so now we know her.   And she won Dancing with the Stars.

I don't really watch the show.  We have it on the screen on mute while we are all doing homework in our kitchen,  and I do usually know who gets kicked off because we tape "Castle" to watch later, and it immediately follows DWTS.   But what I am fascinated with about that show,  is that when the people are being interviewed after being kicked off,  every single person says that doing that show has completely changed their lives and that they will never be the same.  Which kind of begs the questions for the other 99.9999999999998 percent of the world...what kind of shallow, meaningless existence are all the rest of us going to have, since we are unlikely to dance on DWTS?

I do like that that Alek guy was just a tourist on a train three months ago, and then last night he was one of the three last dancers.  That is actually pretty cool. But I just think that whatever is happening to contestants on that show is something that the rest of us should be able to bottle and take some home with us, also.

Black Friday Tips....Tip #1--Don't Go. Tip #2--Don't Go.

I love a good deal, but as I said earlier, I just don't get the whole Black Friday thing.  I tried it one year, about 10 years ago, when I heard people start talking about it, and I thought I was missing out on something.  I left my house at 5, drove up to the mall, and just basically meandered around for 30 minutes, so I decided to leave.  On the way home, I thought I would stop by Target, to see what was going on there.  At Target, there were tons of people running around, but I couldn't really figure out what was so great....there were a couple of good deals, like $25 toasters for $9.99, but I don't really need that many toasters,  so I left there, too, within 5 minutes.  That is my experience with Black Friday shopping.

Now, my children and I usually leave our house at 10, go to Chick Fil A for a late breakfast, and head over to Target to buy a particularly fuzzy blanket that they always have on sale the day after Thanksgiving.   Surprisingly, lots of the good "deals" are still there  when we arrive at 11 am, so why would you go out the night before, or at 4 am?   Last year I got several Milton Bradley board games for $5 each, which I donated to various Toys for Tots drives.   I think almost all of the "deals" were still there.  No need to go crazy.

One blog I really like, the Penny Hoarder (hits home...??), has an article today about how to deal with Black Friday stress, and they suggest doing things to help get you prepared emotionally for the big day.  This includes the exercise of going to the store a few days early (you should be on your way to that store, if you want to use this technique!!), getting everything you want, then putting it all back, so that you teach yourself what it feels like to miss out on a deal.  Are you kidding?  Who the heck would ever do that?  That is insane.  

In addition, they suggest you practice breathing exercises to relieve stress, and, finally, to utilize a stress-relieving app to help you through the stress of Black Friday (how can an app relieve stress?  I find most of my apps create some level of stress, such as trying to get the Cartwheel bar to scan an item at Target, for example).  Presumably, the stress they are referring to is the stress that comes when you don't get that good deal.

At one point, the article points out the key to a stress-free Black Friday is remembering that Black Friday is just a shopping day with better prices.  That seems pretty simple to me.   You can read the whole Penny Hoarder article at http://www.thepennyhoarder.com/black-friday-shopping-stress-free/.

I really just don't understand this--how much stress can shopping be?  Is that how unhinged society is?  If so, I should be more careful the next time I go out, because I operate on the assumption that most of us are pretty normal, but I am not so sure anymore...whole articles (like this??) about staying stress free  and not going ballistic during a shopping trip?

So, here is my tip (which I kind of gave away in my title):   Just don't go.  Seriously, just don't go. Stay home.  Be with your family if you are so lucky not to have to go to work.   I can't think of a thing I would need that much to battle through that much commotion.

Before I sign off, I must address those of you who know me well enough to know how excited I get during a good 90% clearance sale at Target, or during the Lilly Pulitzer warehouse sale.  To which I say this--I get excited, not stressed.  It makes me happy to get a Lilly dress for $40.  In might make me unusually happy, and I might clear my schedule to be at Lilly sales, but that doesn't involve me having to do deep-breathing exercises and frantically searching for apps to keep me, well, not frantic.  That may be the hypocrite in me, but, to me, it makes sense.

So, stay home this Thanksgiving night, and watch a good true-crime murder show, like Dateline.  That is my idea of a perfect way to relax--watching a murder show.  

Paris Attacks---"How do you destroy an ideology? This isn't a nation we are going after." November 14, 2015

The Paris attacks last night were, as I heard this morning, a "game changer."   An act of War, as France's President, Hollande, stated.   But, I heard Savannah Guthrie ask today on the Today show (and you know it is a big deal if Savannah Guthrie and Matt Lauer are the hosts of the Saturday show....I think I can remember one other time in the last 10 years when Matt Lauer hosted on a Saturday morning was in the Midwest after a hurricane or tornado) the following to a National Security expert:   "How do you defeat a group that is identified by an ideology, not a nation?"

In other words, these aren't Russians, or any other group/nation that we are fighting against.  It is a way of thinking--a terrifying, horrific way of thinking.   It is difficult to defeat because it disseminates across national lines, and across borders.  It is terrifying.   And today, I thank God we are in the United States.   Because although it is not absolute, it feels a lot safer to be here.  

Operation Christmas Child---They are collecting boxes this week at Chick Fil A!

If you haven't turned in your box for Operation Christmas Child yet, you can do so at Chick Fil A this week. Just be sure to call ahead to make sure that they are accepting boxes.   It seems as if some of the Chick Fil A's in my area only accepted them yesterday, which is a change from previous years.


This was the boxes all over my floor for the last week or so as I was filling them..

 And this was just a amount of them, packed up, and ready to go out the door...it feels great to get them out of here, to be honest!!  I already have some stuff I have gathered for next year that didn't make it into boxes for this year--there almost wasn't space for it!

My family and I made up a whole bunch of these boxes this year, and Chris dropped them off last night in Warrington on the way home from work. It feels so good to get them out of the house, and knowing that they are on the way to brighten someone's holidays.

Happy Veteran's Day--November 11, 2015

I was surprised by how few people were flying their flags for Veteran's Day.  I think when we were growing up, we had off for Veteran's Day.  Now, it seems as if people don't really celebrate it as much.  We saw a commercial that asked for people to put up a green light for Veteran's Day, to let people know you support veterans, and I am pretty sure we are the only family that has a green light out.

That seems wrong.   It is Veteran's Day.  At the very least, put out your American flag.

Happy Birthday, Lily--She turns 9 on November 9, 2015!

Lily turns 9 today.  I can hardly believe it.  I think 0-5 is so hard, 5-9 flies by!  I can vividly remember what we did for all four of my older children's 9th birthdays, and now they are all so much older.   I can remember Jack's 9th birthday party--we took a group of boys to the Phillies game, and Jack D. threw up in my car on the way home (into the pocket of the seat in front of him for some reason...Chris cleaned it out).   And now, both those Jacks are sophomores in college. It goes by quickly!!

We have been celebrating this birthday for weeks!  First, we had the birthday party on October 24th---a good old fashioned birthday party in the back yard:

Then, we had a special "last single digit" birthday dinner at the Blue Bell Inn, which is one of our favorite places.   We took Chris and my brother in law, Joe, there for Father's Day this year, and apparently Lily liked how fancy it was, because that is where she wanted to go for dinner.

And then, tonight, we had her special birthday cake--an ice cream cake I made myself.  I think it turned out very nice!

Happy 9th Birthday, Lily!!

November 2015--The Autumnal colors are amazing!

I love being able to use the word "autumnal."  You don't get to use it a lot, so there you go!!

So far, November has not been what I usually think of it...drab, dreary, drafty.   This year, this area has had an unusually warm spell of beautiful weather.  In fact, according to Action News, the last 4 days have been the warmest stretch of November weather in Philadelphia in the last 40 years (I love all this worthless information!)

Just look at these colors around here:

It has been between 74 and 77 degrees every day, and my kids who aren't in uniforms are wearing shorts to school.  This is the weather I love.  Unfortunately, it comes right before the weather I hate (i.e. the cold/winter/snow/ice),  so I know it is coming, and I dread it.  But still, I appreciate the nice weather while it is here.  And it sure made raking the first round of leaves very pleasant this year.