Timmy leaves for college, and I don't care that I am supposed to be happy for him. August 15, 2018

So, this summer has been so crazy, that Timmy leaving for college kind of crept up on me.  I mean, I was very much aware of it, but I had not done anything about it.  Which is why I just today took him to Target to get the things he needs for college, and why it is almost midnight and we are all pretty much still getting things together to get ready for our four day trip to drop him off at Notre Dame.

I really could not be happier for him, but I am so sad for me, and for our family, because we really need Timmy here.  I really need him here. Lily needs him here.  Matthew needs him here.  We just all need him here.  But, we are told that after high school, kids go to college, and so off to Notre Dame he goes.  But I have done this before with my oldest son, Jack, and looking back on it now, dropping him off at Notre Dame really was so much more than just dropping him off at college.  It was the end of my time with him as his mother, guiding him through life, getting him to where he needed to go....including, I guess, to Notre Dame.   And my heart is breaking because while I know Timmy is 18, almost going to be 19, in my heart, he is still this little boy.

He is about three in this picture...


This photo was taken almost exactly 12 years ago, which makes him 6, almost 7, and Matthew is 4 1/2.  And they are still very good to each other.