Mom Milestones...they just keep coming (From August 22, 2015)

And this is another post I never posted...I need to stop doing this.  Some of these would have been good to have for my kids to read.   This one was written on 8/22/15 but never posted.  Here goes:


When my children were younger, I didn't have time to think (my messy house is a testament to that).   Really, I think back to having five kids 11 and under, and I feel like I am now going through PTSD.   That was a crazy time.  People always said "wow, you sure are busy!" when they learned we had 5 children, and I would smile.  I wasn't busy, I was insane.  It was insane to have 5 kids, but having 5 children made me insanely busy.  Just making it through the day without a broken bone, with all their bodies being nourished physically, spiritually, and emotionally, was all I could really do.   Housekeeping had to wait.

Kelly Corrigan, who wrote The Middle Place,  mentioned in her book that any woman who has over 3-4 children is really special.  That was the first time I ever really thought what I did was anything other than...well, what I did.  And let me point out, that some of my favorite women friends have 7, 8, and yes, 12 children.  So my 5 children weren't something that I ever thought made me all that special.   But now I think having this many children makes it worse when they grow up...the house will seem so much more quiet, and the absence of them will make it seem more lonely.  As it is now, our house is dirty, loud, noisy, and fun.

In the last few months, I have had, or will have, the following milestones:

My oldest went overseas for the first time....
My daughter, Anna, is starting looking at colleges..,,
My son,  Timmy, went to his first weekend away with friends....
Matthew became a teenager, and is starting at a  new school, without Timmy to help him out...
and
Lily grew out of her booster seat (I thought she had to be 80 pounds, but everyone said I am wrong--she is only 68 pounds, and she didn't really complain about it, so I kept her in it), which she can now get herself in, and does not need any special seating...something that has not happened in my car for 20 years, and which is propelling her closer to growing up....

I know this is just normal stuff, but I don't like it.   And, annoyingly, my children don't seem to mind these changes...they welcome them.   And each one makes me a little more sad.  Really.  I am not going to be brave. This makes me sad.