In less than 6 months or so, Anna will be at college. She doesn't know where that college is, but she will be somewhere. And that somewhere won't be here, which makes me incredibly sad.
Anna is my heart, in so many ways. In so many ways, she is a much better version of me. She is much more kind, thoughtful, considerate, sensitive than I ever was. And, perhaps in a not so good way, she often shows me how to be a better person, not the other way around, as it probably should be for a mother and her child. I will miss her so much.
I loved Jack with every bone in my body, but I can remember that with Anna, it was different. I remember at her Christening, looking down at her, and thinking "I finally have a mother/daughter relationship...but this time, I am the mother." With Anna, I could enjoy looking forward to doing things that mothers and daughters do.
But, it isn't because she is a girl that I will miss her. It is because she is Anna. Anyone who knows Anna knows that Anna is special, as I say She didn't smile until she was almost a year old. She was happy, but she didn't smile a lot. I think that she was taking it all in. Aunt Phyllis tried, but Anna was content to be, well, content. That is only part of why Anna is special.
Anna may end up in on the other side of Philadelphia, or on the other side of the country, but whenever she is anywhere other than upstairs in her room is too far away for me.
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